The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Review

by zeb k Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:11 am

After playing through the first Witcher and loving every second (except when I had to fight the big tentacled thing and got slaughtered repeatedly) I was quite looking forward to the second one. It looked as good as the first one but with more nudity... Yay!

However it turned out to pretty much be a huge freakin' bugger. I didn't get through the whole thing but it was nowhere near as good as the first one. Again in this game you play as the monster hunter guy Geralt, who is now best buds with the king after saving him from an assassin. Pretty soon a different assassin shows up and gets the job done right I'm a ninja

Then since Geralt is the only one around when the guards get there, then they decide that he must have done it and throw him in jail. But then you break out (by setting fire to the castle in the process (it wasn't me off'cer. Some big guy in a yellow hat did it.)) and go after the real killer. Anyway, enough of the story lets talk about the other stuff.

It's fairly well written but, like a lotta other RPGs coming out now it is dark which mean you say f--k every 2 seconds and everyone's a racist bastard, if I may quote a different review. The fighting isn't very well introduced since in the first fight you have to fight like 20 guys who can each kill you with only 3 blows and Geralt sucks at fighting more then one guy at once. You can block but for some reason this takes the same energy as magic and you can only block three times before it's gone.

You can also dodge but Geralt isn't as young as he once was (Ah me hip!) and most of the time you either A: don't dodge at all or B: dodge in the wrong freakin' direction right into some other guy with a huge sword wanting to smash your brains out. The loading times aren't horrible but, between them and 5 minute cut-scenes you'll have time to calm down and maybe make a quick cup of tea after getting slaughtered for the 25th bloody time. The game can also get a little chunky but not so bad. I have not as of yet figured out exactly what you are suppose to do to open drawbridges and stuff because you are suppose to click in the special way that is far beyond me.

Again as in the first Witcher there seem to be a lot of side quests, such as the one where several human racists are accusing an elf hotty of leading there buddies into a ambush and killing 'em. Knowing the game's general attitude about elf hotties, I helped clear her name then followed her to a romantic glade where it turned out that she was evil all along and had truly led the humans into a ambush. At which point you get slaughtered by me and my pals. However, the elves got into a fight with the huge crowd of monsters that follow you everywhere trying to kill you after you leave the city gates. Sometimes I managed to sneak off and sulk.

So all in all... not the best game ever made. Someday when boredom takes over I'll muster the energy to finish it but definitely not today. My overall take is that it is an okay game but with pretty sucky combat and some lag. This may be a bit harsh but as far as I can tell it's true. So if you're considering buying it I'd stick with the first Witcher or some other game.

by Deviss Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:00 pm

Nice review Zeb. I did read it over and made some slight editing here and there; mostly just Grammatical things but also some pacing issues.

Again, well done.

by zeb k Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:08 pm

Thanks Deviss! It looks better now that there's spacing and stuff.

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The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Review

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings - Review

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