Re: Clan-Written Fan-Fiction - The First Story

by Denjie Thu May 03, 2012 11:26 pm

Yea, we can wait.

by Parker Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:50 am

Okay, I am seriously working on my section right now. Going to take a little while as I have 70 pages of reading to catch up on (1) and (2) I have massive post set in motion connecting a lot of previous elements at once :p

by Cuyir Sat Jul 07, 2012 12:44 pm

Don't sweat it Park. Life's more important. Just look at me! I'm hardly ever online anymore!

Hard to believe, but I can still role with this thing, despite my new found busyness. Maybe one-liners, but I'll be able to keep up. Wink

by Parker Sun Jul 08, 2012 12:54 am

As I count my options, I realize that my life will surely be over in a matter of minutes. Even if I take down my feral foe on top of this roof top, his team will surely kill me. If I don’t get shot by the sniper, then I will surely be killed by Tiger’s unarmed combat skills. I don’t know what he has in store for me, but I do not wish to find out. And to top it off, if neither group can get me, I will be captured or killed by the droids approaching at an alarming rate. My mind goes racing to find a solution. Keep Tiger talking, put him between me and the sniper, do it fast. But nothing seems to be a solid solution.

I try to keep Tiger talking, “What do you want?”

The cloaked figure before me laughs with a twisted sense of glee, “Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to rip your heart out—the way you ripped out mine when I turned over Vip.”

I shrug. “Lip? Whose Rip?”

I hear the shot before I feel it. My shoulder gets punched with the velocity of the sniper’s blaster shot. Good, I now know that there is an open comm between the two groups, and I know that I am going to be left alive.

Tiger stands before me and removes his cloak. He takes a deep breath, but it is obvious that the comment bothered him. “Vip was my brother. Because of you, I say was.”

“Vip? Did I kill him? I seem to do that to people that get in my way.” I take a step forward, so I am within hitting distance. I get lucky and Tiger does just that. He uppercuts me straight below the helmet, just where a smart fighter would go—the weak spot in the armor. I reel back and make a show of landing on my feet. I mutter “strike two” to myself and hope for the best.

I stand up and say, “He must be that stupid criminal that I killed on this backwater planet. Too bad his brothers couldn’t save his sorry [Squirrel!]. I enjoyed watching him—” This gets to be too much for Tiger, who reels up and charges me. This is exactly what I hoped would happen. I sidestep him and use his momentum against him, hurling him over the side of the seven story building. If he was wearing his armor, he might have made it out. Too bad he wasn’t. I turn around just in time to remember the sniper. I hear a loud shot and yell out in pain.

I open my eyes and see that I am not dead, I look down to see no huge hole in my body. I look up just in time to see the shimmering barrel of a rifle fall thirty stories. I look higher and see two bodies lying motionless. “Holy…” I back pedal towards my gear and grab my rifle. I hit the dirt and aim at the door. Who would take them out for me? Alpha team is currently pinned down to the north, the shot must have been east or west, considering it took both of them out.

“You’re a brave guy. But stupid. It’s amazing you have lived this long, Parker.” I hear a voice come up the stairs—a voice that I have already heard. Casually, as if nothing exciting has happened in the last year, a clone steps up onto the roof. Not a care in sight. My rifle stays pointed at his forehead, but he continues to walk towards me, eventually stopping when he is within five fight of my reach.

“Why do you keep invading my life?”

The clone assassin smiles and puts his hands up in an innocent gesture. “Woah, is that anyway to thank the person who saved your life? My parents wanted to let you get killed, I wouldn’t allow it.”

“Why not?” All this cloak and dagger [Say hello!] has really been getting on my nerves. I want to shoot something and have everyone know why I’m shooting something.

The person answers simply, “Because I like you. I haven’t been surprised in a long time… And well, I’m atoning for my sins.”

“You’re what?”

“It’s a religious thing… Nevermind. But anyway, I was forced to do something’s that haunt my dreams. I was ordered to kill your friends.” the man in front of my loses three inches and genuinely looks embarrassed to be here, talking to me. I turn white at how easily he discusses killing my brother Frang. He continues after clearing his throat, “The person I work for, is an evil man.”

I interrupt, “We all work for the same boss.”

“You’re not listening. Your friend knew too much information, and made him powerful enemies. I need you to find out what he knew.”

This is unbelievable. “You want me to know what got him killed? So what, you can kill me?”

He swallows and tells me simply, “Yes, we will be sent to kill you. But you and your ‘Alpha Team’ to the north will have to stop us, kill us if you have to. There is nothing I can do for your friend, but I can help the rest of the galaxy.”

As I hear him finish, I contemplate whether or not to shoot him where he stands… Instead, I ask, “Where should I go? Where is Frang?”

“A solution always presents itself to the vigilant eye. Save your brother to honor your brother.”

“A riddle, are you kidding me?”

“I wish I could say more… You will not see us again.” He turns around a takes a step down the stairs. However he hears creaking and thinks better of it. The assassin turns around and runs to the nearest ledge, hurling himself of the side. I didn’t see how he managed to survive the fall, but I have no doubt that he did. I let my rifle fall on its sling and pick up my sidearm. Just as I am holstering it, two bodies appear. Boy is it good to see Denjie and Cabra again. I have a lot to think about.

by Parker Fri Jul 13, 2012 1:56 am

Did I kill this? haha...

by Denjie Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:17 am

Nope, nobody else seemed to want to keep it going so it died on it's own that way. I've been working on my part recently for this though.

by Deviss Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:45 am

It's not that I haven't wanted to keep this moving, I've been busy with other things.

by Denjie Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:59 am

*Climbs up the last few stairs with Cabra to the top and see's Parker*

"Well, you're still in one piece. Imagine that." I say with a flat voice with a tinge of cold.

*I look around the top of the building to see weapons scattered everywhere, 3 bodies on the ground and Parker standing in the middle of it all*

"What the hell happened here?" I ask him. While waiting for a reply I check around the building for any other signs of the enemy.

Alrighty, got that up. Whoever wants to keep it going, there ya go.

by Cuyir Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:18 pm

As I said before Park made his (Wonderfully made, btw) post, I should be able to keep up. Things have been a tad bit less hectic lately, so I should be able to think something up.

Go ahead and keep trudging on. I'll get something up, eventually.

by Parker Fri Jul 13, 2012 3:21 pm

It looks like the three of us want to keep this going? As long as you want to, I have no problem waiting. Me, Denjie, Dev?, Cuyir?
Is that the order?

Although there isn't much for Cuyir to do right now.
And Dev, if you are busy right now, we could wait or write it so you can come back when you want? (I have an idea for that. Haha)

by Denjie Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:23 am

*wipes some dust off the thread*

Just to show everyone a bit of what I've been doing with the story, here are two segments from my editing:

It turned out that the signal Denjie had been following lead him back into the near by town, he’d been in this place for over an hour with no luck as to where Cuyir was or anyone who knows about him. One thing was for sure; there were a lot more people here than there should have been for a small town like this. Something told him that somewhere in this place Cuyir was being held.

He’d been standing in a dark corner right off a side street next to some sort of cantina. He’d been surveying the area for almost an hour. About to give up here, a person burst out hastily from within the cantina place.

“Somebody’s in a hurry.” He thought to himself.

He then took notice of small details about the person; their walk was to straight, The movements to exact. You could tell they were trying to hide these characteristics but the patterns were to ingrained into them. He couldn't tell who or what the person was. All he knew was by the look of them, they knew how to handle themselves.

“Interesting, I just might be able to get something out of this one”.

While saying this he had turned back towards the cantina for one more look when he saw another person come out and he knew instantly by their walk and direction, that this guy was following the first guy.

“Looks like the first guy has attracted some attention, let's see where this goes. Might be useful”.

Denjie begin to quietly follow the second person after the first person. He kept his pistol within reach and carefully eased his knife into a ready position. He then pulled the hood of his cloak over his head and closed the cloak around his body.

- - - - -

Parker had just crossed through yet another alley, he realized that running was useless against this man. He had obviously tracked far better targets than him and in much worse conditions. If only Parker had his armor on, then he might have a chance. But his armor was currently buried in a cabinet by a tree on the West side of town. Besides his thin dagger and sidearm, undershirt armor, and his mind, he had no tools at his disposal.

He muttered an oath, ducked into a shadowed doorway and waited until the guy crossed his path. While he waited he thought of everything he knew about this shadowy figure. He knew he didn’t have a partner, at least he doubt he did. Why would he need one? If he is sent to kill Commandos than he is probably just as well trained, or better trained then Parker was. He was probably armed. He was also very smart. He knew when to leave a fight.

Parker saw him come to the exact spot where he had changed direction. When he snapped his head in Parker's direction Parker opened fire. He aimed at his kneecaps. He fired two or three shots into his right knee, but he didn't even seem to notice. He pulls his own sidearm and Parker managed to shoot his hand before he could shoot him in the head. He practically saw the wheels in his head turn as he realized that Parker wasn’t there to kill him. He put his hands up, brushing his ear as he stood up, and smiled. It was amazing that he was still standing, despite the knee that must have been hurting.

Parker slowly walked towards him, keeping his sidearm in his left hand and his knife in his right, both pointed at him, with his hands crossed at the wrist. His smile didn't drop the entire time. It was more unnerving than anything else he had ever seen.

"What is your business with me?"

The agent licked his lips before speaking in a low baritone voice, "To warn you."

Parker blinked in surprise before regaining his wall of emotionless. Sadly, the agents alert eyes didn't miss it. "What do you need to warn me of?"

He genuinely looked a little miffed by saying this as it came out slowly and carefully. "Your friend, who was very friendly with Jedi, poked his head where he wasn't needed. I want you to tell the rest of your team to remain clear of his fate. As good as I am at my job, I don't like killing clones more than anyone else."

The fear that had been slowly building up inside of Parker was finally realized. He had lost a brother on this mission, but was he the only one? His mind went back to the day they had arrived on this planet, with the detonators and playful mood that we shared.

"Why should I believe you? I believe he could have done what I just did."

The agent smiled again, "Ah, but you not only surprised me during a, quite frankly embarrassing, lack of judgment on my part, but I have no desire to kill you. Yet. Who do you think shot the guy hanging out of that window? By the way, quick thinking with the safety harness. But you should have just killed him in the first place."

All sense of power Parker had in the moment evaporated. He was clearly at a disadvantage of power. Even though he had the knife and gun, the agent had the training, knowledge, and confidence, which Parker lacked. It was then that Parker saw out of the corner of his eye a man enter the shadows.

“God, Parker! Why did you have to assume he doesn't have a partner. No wonder he is so smug!” he thought to himself.

He acted in an instant. He spun him around with the barrel of the gun pointed right at his temple and the knife in a position right under his ribcage, ready to go straight through his soft abdomen and into his heart. For a fraction of a second he got confused and asked, "What seems to be the matter, Parker?"

Later he would have a restless sleep over the fact that the man in the shadows knew his name. But right now he ignored it when he said he wasn't going to get killed by his partner. It was then that the man froze. Parker didn't know why. Maybe he didn't think that Parker would see his partner and now his hand of cards was up?

Parker shouted out, "Show yourself, or our friend here gets a one way ticket of this planet."

It had turned out to be Denjie, but Parker didn’t realize this and Denjie was still cautious that it was indeed Parker, he went out on a limb hoping, but was ready for anything.

“You seem to still handle yourself well, at least, for ally fighting. But I thought you were suppose to be fighting something a bit more challenging then some random kid?” He said.

He stood there, waiting to see Parker's response. He was on full alert, ready to take them both out if need be.

Parker took a step back when he heard the voice of his former brother. It had been two months since he had last heard it, but some things were never forgotten. His grip around his captive got tighter. It never crossed his mind that Den wasn't standing in front of him. After being his number two for more than a year, a galaxy full of clones could never come close to being him.

He stopped looking at Denjie and shifted his gaze to the back of his captives head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Denjie reach into his pocket a little farther than was comfortable. He knew he must have had his hand curved around his favorite pistol. Apparently Denjie wasn't as sure as he was about what is happening.

He looked at Denjie and said, "This isn't just a kid, Denjie. He killed-"

Right then he felt a pain in his side. He looked down and saw a thin trickle of his blood as it flowed out of his body. He realized that the agent must have pulled a knife faster than anyone he had ever met could have done. The agent took the opportunity of Parker surprise to elbow him in the forehead and wrestle his way free of his hold. Parker's gun went off, but the agent had already turned the gun out towards the sky. Parker looked at Denjie in an instant, he already had his gun out and was ready to shoot someone. But then my vision was clouded.

Parker pushed his attacker forward in his instant of blindness. His next instant reflex was to crouch and put his knife up to defend himself from an attack. He realized that the agent had taken his gun out of his hand, so he brought a knife to a gun fight. It happened too fast for Parker to get nervous or even be scared for his life. He laughed at the irony of a clone killing him when he realized no shots had been fired. He looked forward to where he knew he must have been, but the agent wasn't there.

A voice spoke from right behind him. It sounded confident and low as it said, "Remember the warning." Parker spun around to cut his face off, scared out of his mind. He turned just fast enough to see the butt of his gun come up to meet his head.

As he collapsed to the ground he heard the drop of his pistol next to him and the patter of steps as they faded away. Just as they disappeared a new set of steps come up to him. He closed his eyes.

Denjie had been prepared for anything to happen, but what he didn’t figure for was the smoke screen with Flash-bang. He quickly went dark on his screen, counted to 10 and then turned it back on. He saw Parker on the ground with his eyes closed, pistol at his side.

- - - - -

When I see two blips on the short-range radar, I comm alpha team. I cut Denjie off in the process though.

"Parker, are you able to-"

“Denjie, Cabra, over. I am on the roof north, northwest of our rendezvous point. My vantage is to the north of our target area. I have eyes on all subjects and friendlies in the area. You are about a click from the edge of the tree line."

"Understood. Do you have a bead on the droids?"

"Negative. No precision rifle present." I can almost hear Cabra as he mutters about his opinions on the worth of a clone without a sniper.

"Roger, feed us intel as we go."

"Affirmative. You will come out on a major street. Keep heading down until I post an alternative route."

"You got it, Parker."

Parker wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to Cabra saying his name, or the way he seemed to clench his lips a little bit uncomfortably whenever he did. Somehow, he felt that Denjie had something to do with the former. Regardless, it made him feel closer to trusting him as a team member, and how could he ask for anything more?

Denjie turned to Cabra after the conversation went dead.

"I think you're giving Parker another look about you. You just might be able to gain his trust before this is all over".

Either that or he's just playing up his authority. I wouldn't put it past him. Denjie mused thought to himself.

He knew the whole thing had gotten way off target, Sev And Vandal had never made it back to the RV and after he had seen Frang in the state he was in he knew he was dead. He felt like killing whoever did him in like that, no clone trooper and especially no ARC should ever go down like that.

He shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. His objective now was to RV with Parker, then get Cuyir. Hopefully they could still take down the CIS base AND get off here in one piece. Their chances were slim though, unless those droids REALLY fowled up and gave them an open and clear target. Then again, knowing droids, they could very easily do that for them. Who knew what would happen.

After traversing the landscape further they hit the main road, Denjie flipped his second scope attachment down so his rifle was more close quarter ready.

"How do you wanna pull this? Tag team or just one of us stay scout?" He kept his rifle at the ready.

"Let's stick together. The last thing we need right now is to loose someone else." Cabra replied.

Before they went anywhere, his hands instinctively moved to check the cells in his M5 and both hand blasters. 'Good. Everything's ready for action.'

He saw Denjie look back at him, without saying anything Cabra nodded in reply. Despite the time, they had become able to easily recognize each others' body language. Denjie skulked off to take the lead as they drew nearer and nearer to the ruined city.

Each step took them further and further into a death trap it felt like. Denjie don't like having ruins around him, to many hiding spots for someone or a bunch of someones to be staked out at waiting for them. He keep his rifle trained forward while panning from side to side every few seconds to keep everything clear. He look over at Cabra to make sure his six is clear.

"I don't see anything yet." He whispered. He commed Parker. "Parker, we're almost to the checkpoint. How are things looking"?

As they came up on the fringes of the ruined city, the two of them stacked up against the side of a destroyed building. Clicking the safety off his rifle, Denjie poked his head around the corner.

"What's it like in there?" Cabra asked, glancing around before turning back to him. "Nothing yet, just a couple droid patrols."

Denjie looked back at Cabra, even though Cabra couldn't see his face through the T-visor of his commando helmet. Nodding, Cabra slapped his shoulder plate. "Let's go". With his eyes trained forward he nodded knowing Cabra saw it. Slipping around the corner in a half crouch stance and keeping his rifle in a ready position, he turned the short range radar active on his HUD.

"Small patrol of droids coming in from the west, two Officers with them. Another patrol coming in from the north”. Denjie tried to com Parker, but only got silence. He switched to the channel between Cabra and himself.

"I'm getting no contact from Parker, channel is all static, jammed, Something’s happened to him”. He made his way slowly to a pile of crates and motioned for Cabra to move. He kept his gun trained around them, ready for any sudden moves. During this he was remembering a time when Parker and him had to bail out on Parker's team. It’s one of those times He wont forget easily. His mind slowly wondered back to that time.

"It's all clear, what are you waiting for?" Parker asked. Denjie just looked at him. "Sometimes I wonder how the hell you stayed alive this long". "I have my team, they're my support". Denjie looked back at his "team" that was pinned down. "Like they're going to help you right now? They might as well be dead!"

"They won’t die! They're my men!" Parker stood up to run to them, Denjie grabbed his arm and hauled him back right as a couple of canons went off destroying the spot where his team had been. Parker froze and just look, then looked at Him.

"What the hell was that for!? I could have saved them!" Denjie could hear the anger in his voice. "Get over it!" he said harshly. "They dead anyway, now let's get out of here and get to the RV in one piece! That's all that mattes now!". Parker reluctantly got up and fallowed him. "You still haven't changed Denjie, you're still cold inside". Denjie turned to him. "And it's what's kept me alive!"

Denjie’s thoughts came back to reality, he shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts and concentrate on covering Cabra and getting to Parker.

- - - - -

So there's two samples of the story. Tell how ya like it and hopefully we can continue it.

by Deviss Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:30 pm

Dang, that is one big block o' text there! Shocked

I'll try and give all this a read here soon, and, with any luck, get myself geared back up/back in the frame of mind to jump back in this.

EDIT: Oh and Den, I went ahead and did some minor editing in your massive Post above. Nothing major, don't worry, just capitalizing some stuff, indentations, and such.

by Denjie Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:51 pm

No prob Dev! Smile

Def read through it and give me your feed back. Hopefully with these parts I've shown it'll encourage us to get back on it.

And to be honest, even if we don't ever start another story again, I'd like to finish this one. Smile

by Deviss Thu Aug 09, 2012 4:15 pm

Den wrote:even if we don't ever start another story again, I'd like to finish this one.

Oh I can tell you right now, we will finish this. It's not going to be left hanging.

by Denjie Thu Aug 09, 2012 4:42 pm

Good to hear ner vod. Smile

by Cuyir Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:35 pm

Hey! It's like an actual story now, instead of a big jumbled mess! I like what you've done so far, Den!

Sure things are slow for it. I put myself into a miniature pit-hole, and can't seem to get out at the moment. But I'm still right here with you guys, and will gladly attempt to keep this thing moving!

by Deviss Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:45 pm

Cuyir wrote:It's like an actual story now, instead of a big jumbled mess!

What'cha saying there Cuy? Hm, hm?

by Denjie Fri Aug 10, 2012 5:39 pm

He's sayin' ya write in a mess. Razz

jk jk <3

by Parker Sat Aug 18, 2012 11:01 pm

I am definitely down to keep this going! Sorry about getting back to this soo late.

Where should we start this party train!

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